


Birthday Shopping

by sonofthanatos



Category: South Park
Genre: Friendship, Humor, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 16:10:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofthanatos/pseuds/sonofthanatos
Summary: Tweek needs to find something for Craig's birthday. Luckily another friend is there for him.





	Birthday Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> We only really see Tweek interact with Craig and the main four in the show. I think he has lots of great friendships we just don't see and decided to write about one of them.

Tweek stepped off the bus and stared at the mall apprehensively. Almost automatically, he drank the rest of his coffee.

He didn’t particularly like going to the mall, but he had no choice. Craig’s birthday was in a week, and he had procrastinated, looked online, begged for ideas, and reviewed all their dates one by one trying to come up with anything Craig would like.

He twitched as he approached the entrance. Oh God, this was too much pressure!

He walked into the mall and stared helplessly at the different stores. Books, clothes, jewelry, candles, games…there had to be something Craig would like!

First of all he needed more coffee.

Making his way slowly through the mall towards the first café he could see, he ordered the largest coffee they had and sat down at a table, trying to determine a course of action. He closed his eyes, ignoring the sounds and bustle all around him while he considered Craig.

He opened his eyes again, and shrieked in panic as he found himself staring into somebody’s eyes. He scrambled back, crashing into the wall, suddenly aware of everybody staring at him.

The face started forward, suddenly full of concern. “Tweek! Tweek, please don’t faint or Craig’s gonna kill me!”

Tweek froze at Craig’s name. He took another look at the face in front of him, and it was suddenly familiar. “Clyde?”

“Hi dude! Sorry Tweek, I didn’t mean to scare you like that. Please don’t tell Craig; he said he’ll flush my head in the toilet if I upset you and I don’t want to go through that again!”

Tweek paused, trying to understand the various things that implied. After a moment he dared to ask. “Again?”

Clyde waved it aside. “Cartman did it once. Anyways, what are you doing here?”

Tweek drank his coffee. “I’m trying to think of a present for Craig.”

Clyde smirked. “Just take some naughty pictures of yourself and call him daddy.”

Tweek turned a brilliant shade of red. Clyde laughed. “Kidding. Well, let’s go hunting!”

“You want to come with me?”

“Sure. My shift at my dad’s store just ended and I’m bored. Let’s go shopping!”

Grabbing Tweek’s hand, Clyde pulled him along. Tweek passively allowed himself to be led. Clyde was one of his favorite friends, and he could see why Craig liked him so much (although Craig had forbidden him from ever telling Clyde that). Unlike almost everybody else Tweek knew, Clyde never had a single thought he wouldn’t either share or put into action. Tweek never had to wonder what he was thinking or if he was up to something, and he loved that about the energetic brunette.

Clyde suddenly pulled to a stop. Tweek stared in surprise at the clothing store. “This doesn’t seem like a ‘Craig’ store to me.”

“It isn’t. I just need your opinion on something.”

Leading him in, Clyde picked up a few things and disappeared into a dressing room. Tweek looked at some of the nearby clothing racks, hoping for inspiration, but he was fairly certain that if they dressed up Craig’s body in the colorful clothing offered Craig would rise from the dead just to punch them for it.

Clyde reappeared, dressed in new, fashionably ripped jeans and a tight light blue turtleneck. “How does this look?”

“Ummm….”

The brunette grinned. “It’s OK to say that I’m hotter than Craig.” Tweek flushed as Clyde twirled, trying to look at himself in the mirror from every angle. “How does my ass look in these?”

Tweek stood frozen, not sure what to say. Clyde looked over. “Hey, Tweek, I’m just teasing. A cute girl picked these out and I just need to know if these look good or not. Don’t worry about offending me or anything.”

Tweek nodded carefully. “You look good in those, and your ass is amazing.”

Clyde grinned. “Don’t I know it!” He wrapped an arm around Tweek’s shoulders and took a selfie of them for Instagram.

 

 

After Clyde paid, they continued walking around the mall; Clyde took the opportunity to model his new clothes for every girl who walked by. Tweek shook his head fondly at his antics. They pointedly avoided Hot Topic and popped into a hobby shop to see if they could get ideas. Tweek was examining coins, seeing if he could find anything unusual at least, when Clyde suddenly pulled him down. He put a finger to his lips.

Tweek peeked out and almost shrieked. Cartman and Stan were there, looking at the comics and babbling about their “great idea that’ll make us billions”. Carefully Tweek and Clyde snuck out, sliding neatly around displays and timing their movements to keep hidden.

As they escaped, Clyde began humming the James Bond theme. Tweek broke out in giggles, and soon the two were laughing hysterically at nothing. This was why he liked Clyde; the boy was ridiculous, emotional, and so completely carefree even Tweek couldn’t help but relax around him. Sometimes he thought that if he wasn’t so into Craig he might get a crush on the brunette.

They wandered in and out of a few more stores before Clyde announced he was hungry. They headed over to Red Robin, chattering mindlessly as they ate. Tweek mentioned trying to get out of working for his parents, and Clyde suggested he try out for football.

“GAH! Football! With the kicking and the tackling! What if I get a concussion, and brain damage, and spend my life in a hospital room not knowing what soup is! I like soup!”

Clyde laughed. “Calm down Tweek. You’d make a good kicker. You don’t have to be on the field most of the time, you’ll be protected when you are, and all you have to do is kick the ball for the extra point. That’s all.”

“No way man! That is WAY too much pressure!”

“It’s easy. Besides, think about how Craig would look wearing your football jersey!”

That one hit home. The image of Craig in the stands, proud of him, wearing HIS jersey, cheering for him…

Clyde smiled in satisfaction.

 

They continued on shopping, wandering through the game store. Clyde picked up the new football game and Tweek looked around, wandering idly through the shelves.

His eyes fell on a game and he stood still, staring at it in wonder.

Red Racer for PS4.

Grabbing it, he couldn’t believe his luck; somebody had made a video game about Craig’s favorite show!

Eagerly running over, he showed it to Clyde, who agreed it was perfect.

 

They wandered around a while longer, making their way through the stores. Clyde pulled him into another clothing store to look at leather pants, insisting that they would attract women. Tweek looked at the leather jackets while Clyde changed again, trying to picture Craig wearing one. Out of curiosity, he picked one up and looked at the price.

He was pleasantly surprised. It was expensive, but not nearly as much as he had always thought.

Examining the other jackets, his eyes landed on black leather, as dark as Craig’s hair. It was simpler than the others, but still looked great. He could tell it was too small for Craig.

After a moment, he tried it on and stood facing a mirror.

His eyes widened. The dark leather stood in contrast to his pale skin and blonde hair, and gave him that cool, the-hell-with-it edge he loved so much in Craig. A quick glance at the tag on his sleeve showed that it was still expensive, but within his budget. He could actually afford it! He should get a second opinion though.

Hurrying back to the change room, he knocked on the door.

“Just a minute!” Clyde’s voice was obviously panicked.

Tweek fought to keep his own panic down. He remembered what Craig always told him; never take Clyde’s panic seriously. “Are you OK?”

No answer.

Tweek hesitated, then took the jacket off and put it on a rack nearby.

“Clyde?”

The door opened a crack. “Umm….can you come in here please?”

Tweek carefully squeezed into the room. Clyde stood there, dressed in excrutiatingly tight leather pants. His face was bright red.

“I was trying these on and they’re so tight I can hardly move and I can’t get them off!”

“OH MY GOD!”

“Dude, it’s OK. I just…” Clyde’s face got redder. “I need you to get them off me.”

Tweek flushed. He studied them for a moment, then knelt. Clyde sucked his stomach in, and Tweek, after struggling, was able to get the pants undone and slowly started to pull them down.

It was hard; he had to carefully do an inch at a time, one side then the other, then he had to get Clyde to turn around so he could slowly pull them down over his butt (Tweek was extremely careful not to take Clyde’s underwear down too; gay or not, he really didn’t want to see that).

Several minutes of considerable effort, swearing, and struggling later, Tweek was able to pry them off of Clyde’s legs and over his feet.

Clyde cheered. “I’m free!” Grabbing Tweek, he hugged the boy tightly. “My savior, you’ve freed me from the curse of the leather pants!”

Tweek squirmed out of his grasp, giggling. “Shouldn’t you put your pants on first?”

“I’m never wearing pants again!”

Before Tweek could panic about that, Clyde grinned teasingly and pulled his jeans back on. They exited the dressing room together; luckily there was nobody nearby.

Tweek noticed the leather jacket was still there and put it back on. Clyde wolf-whistled at him. “Looking hot! Craig won’t be able to take his hands off of you!”

Tweek flushed, but bought the jacket.

 

They made their way towards the exit, but Clyde pulled him into the pet store first to play with the puppies and kittens; Tweek giggled as a puppy eagerly licked his hand. He randomly decided to buy a new chew toy for Stripe while he was here.

As he made his way back to the bus, Clyde caught his arm again. “Want a ride home?”

Tweek smiled gratefully.

 

At the end of the day, Tweek lay relaxing in his room, texting his friends. He told Craig what an awesome day he’d had and thanked Clyde again for everything.

He couldn’t wait for Craig’s birthday.


End file.
